As an adult, I learned that my white doppelgänger was also straight.I started dating women at age 17 — but with my conventionally feminine personal aesthetic, I once again had an identity that went unread. Even though I was out from a relatively young age, the high heels and dresses made acquaintances ask about “boyfriends.” Even as my female partners sat right next to me.When I got to college in the liberal Bay Area in California, the term “partner” offered a more veiled inquiry from strangers. But words I volunteered like “girlfriend” or the female pronoun still visibly cracked features, still framed a very visible pause.These pauses have become even longer since I became engaged to a woman, as with deciding to have my relationship sanctioned by the institution of marriage have come the fairly predictable heterosexist assumptions.
via Passing for white and straight: How my looks hide my identity – Salon.com.
