After spending months… or was it years?… trying to make LesbianFunWorld a “thing”, I realized a few things.
First off, I am not that “fun” a person. I am surprisingly serious, actually. Well, it surprises me, anyway. I laugh, I love, I dance. But by today’s standards, I am a bore. I struggle with that. My sister was once overheard telling a barfly that after I got cancer I wasn’t as much fun anymore. Fuck her. Except it’s probably true. Three cancers in, I am kind of a serious person. That doesn’t mean I don’t laugh and love and dance. I just do it without boobs now. Thanks, cancer.
I have been doing this internet shit for a long time. A really, really, really long time (yes Virginia, there really was an internet without pictures – and my pre-1990s presence on rec.alt.bodyarts speaks the truth about my 20+ tattoos). My first website that I recall is from the 1990s. Focussed on lesbian films, it was called Killers, Rogues, Vampires and Fish. Housed in the gay area of the Geocities website (West Hollywood), my site even earned a write-up, on March 3, 1998, in Advocate Magazine. That was my glory days, and I never knew.
I searched for that Killers website, and found some interesting copies of what I’d said back in the day…
“Killers, Rogues, Vampires and Fish: Lesbianism In Film: “The stereotypes about Lesbians are intricately woven into society, and its control process and class structure. Stereotypes are not an objective body of characteristics, but are rooted in the fundamental mechanics of how to control behaviour and maintain the status quo. There would be no need to give Lesbians the right, for example, to raise their own children, if we are all seen as murderers…”
~ my old website as quoted by http://www.qrd.org/qrd/world/pacific/australia/pride/e.newsletter-12.97
The next incarnation of my website was outtakes dot net. Don’t go there, it’s just a “buy a website” URL now. Still lesbian films, for some ridiculous reason I let the domain name expire, and could never buy it back. Well, okay, I could, but for thousands of dollars and that isn’t going to happen. Lesbian films waned (plus no one calls them “films” anymore, that’s too haughty these days, they are “movies”). Books, which were always there, seemed more subversive and deserving of my attention. But still, it meant something.
For example, one word from my review of “Dangerous Living: Coming Out in the Developing World” (“Uplifting!”) is quoted by First Run features (http://firstrunfeatures.com/dangerousliving.html). My many-word review for S. is still featured on http://www.iinet.com/~ilcadmin/foreignvids-dutch.html . Did I really say that? They edited out the part where I said it sucked.
And then, enter Lesbianfunworld, and it’s bajillion incarnations. Truth be told, I’ve never really been happy with it… at least, not like I am happy with a glass of wine or peanut butter on toast. I want it to be successful, but I am loathe to advertise. Lordess knows I tried to make it fun: pix of young hotties but my fun-ness doesn’t go far: they were all clothed, over 18, and no smoking, please!
With more than 50,000 page views a month, I deleted everything and present you with this. Me. Not the fake me. Not the “ooh I’m hip and about to become a viral internet sensation” me. But the boring, intelligent, scarred, tattooed, urban butch dyke me who likes to have a drink of wine and try to read books.
I have no idea where I am going with this incarnation. Some of my bad old stuff will come up (Ice Quest, anyone?), and some new stuff will come up (I have a plan, I swear!) . So stick around. Or not. It’s up to you, not me. I’m done being the dancing monkey, time to step it up to the dancing baboon!
And of course, a big shout-out to my partner and wife of almost 30 years, Kelly. Here she is taking a photo while a dangerous tiger sits just inches from her face. Rawr!