May I Kiss You on the Lips, Miss Sandra?
by Sandra Bernhard
Genre: Fiction; Memoir
Publisher: HarperCollins Canada / Harper Paperba
Format: Trade Paperback
No. of Pages: 224
No. In Series:
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It’s tough to categorize Sandra Bernhard’s book of semi-autobiography, philosophy, and quasifactual showbiz gossip. The book partly overlaps with her stage show and CD I’m Still Here Damn It! but it reads like the diary of a sensitive soul with a teensy mean streak. ‘Barbra Streisand won’t let you photograph the right side of her face. . . . If we finally see it, are we just going to scream? ‘ Bernhard writes. ‘Kris Kristofferson must have been nipping at the bottle during A Star Is Born to fake the hots for Barbra. ‘ The title is simply what her drunk housepainter begged of her one day. (‘Everybody used him–Melanie, Cindy, Candy, Caroline, Mimi, ‘ writes Bernhard, unconsciously echoing her appearance in Bret Easton Ellis’s novel Glamorama : ‘The whole gang is usually there. Cindy, Linda, Kate, the Sandras–Bullock, Bernhard, and Gallin. ‘) She devotes many pages to literary air kisses at stars: the chapter titled ‘Barry White for McDonald’s’ consists of one sentence: ‘I was a vegetarian until I heard Barry’s sexy ad. ‘ Bernhard confesses her biggest alleged regret (losing a thank-you note from Jacqueline Kennedy and a letter of apology from Jerry Lewis for making fun of her lips on the set of The King of Comedy ) and pens tender odes to Brenda Vaccaro and Kurt Cobain, a script idea for Pam Grier, and poems with more vigorous rhythms than Jewel’s: ‘I was always shy, never knew how to relate / But when I get behind a cocktail I leave everything to fate. ‘ Bernhard’s book is slight, but highly original. –Tim Appelo
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