A Diary of Love by Maude Hutchins (All Editions)

Maude Hutchins’ A Diary of Love is a lyrical, stream-of-consciousness exploration of the sensory and emotional awakening of Noel, a sensitive young woman navigating the complexities of human desire. Raised in a mid-Victorian country house by her flute-playing grandfather, an inhibited aunt, and a sickly governess named Miss Heminway, Noel’s world is defined by her “sensuous seeking” and “fantasy-building” mind.

The first part of the novel details Noel’s observations of the adults around her, particularly the “gamey” neighbors, the Vanderdoncks, and the household staff. Noel becomes a silent witness to a liaison between the family’s Swedish cook, Frieda, and Brady, a young music pupil. This plotline takes a surreal turn when Frieda experiences a “phantom pregnancy”. When the family doctor, Dr. Pynchon, reveals the truth, Frieda eventually leaves the household in a state of self-deception, clutching a doll she treats as a living infant. Noel also faces her own complicated awakening through a frightening encounter with the “stripling” Brady.

The narrative shifts dramatically when Noel is diagnosed with tuberculosis and sent to a sanitarium in the “Big Desert”. In this environment, she navigates a “community of the sick,” forming a profound, mystical bond with Dr. Paul, a tubercular physician who is Jewish. Surrounded by death and clinical sterilely, Noel’s mind remains active, finding erotic and spiritual analogies in the desert landscape.

Upon her recovery and return home, Noel reunites with her childhood companion, Dominick Vanderdonck. Having moved from the “Whatness” of childhood curiosity to adult consciousness, she finally finds “content” for her capacity to love. The novel concludes with Noel and Dominick together.

Subjects: Grier rating of B**

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Comments

In A Diary of Love, Maude Hutchins explores lesbian themes and quiet homoerotic tension through Noel’s heightened awareness of the women around her, especially the household cook, Frieda. Noel is drawn to Frieda’s physical presence and responds strongly to her closeness, describing moments of touch and shared space in vivid, sensory terms. When Frieda comforts Noel after a frightening encounter with a man, Noel becomes acutely aware of her own physical and emotional reactions, suggesting an early and powerful awakening.

Beyond Frieda, Noel often lingers on the appearance and presence of other women. She admires her neighbor Leda with a mix of fascination and romanticized intensity, and at a sanitarium she fixates on a “sunburned girl” and even a confident headwaitress, noting their bodies, movements, and small details. The novel contrasts Noel’s open, searching curiosity with the emotional restraint of older women in her life. Although Noel’s main romance ultimately involves Dominick, her earliest and most profound awakenings come from her connections with women.

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